| (no subject) |
[Feb. 28th, 2005|01:21 pm] |
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seems like the word recollect is much more appropirate word than remember. |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 26th, 2005|11:28 pm] |
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cocteau twins touring in april? what the fuck? |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 19th, 2005|09:37 pm] |
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i love okinawan music ... western music tradition is so deficient in certain aspects. not absolutely lacking, but deficient. |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 16th, 2005|05:59 pm] |
dear mr. henshaw,
memebership drive season for public radio is really kind of sad. these people sound very much pathetic and i feel bad that they who do such good work have to beg on the radio. sigh. my heart goes out to them. they ware begging for their livly hoods. you know what i mean, mr. henshaw. its only pennies a day. make that call, make that pledge, get that mug. |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 14th, 2005|03:53 pm] |
today i was talking with a friend from japan. she asked me why i went back to america. when someone asks you a question, you ask yourself that same question, (passed by value or reference?i dont know) ... and so i asked myself that question.
well, first i gave her a lame excuse ... something like, "i dont like teaching english" ... well, which is true, i dont really like teaching japanese, who are so shy and tight-lipped, this language that I feel like i am shoving down their throats which are so constricted against it (culturally, linguistically, and probably even physio-morphalogically) ... but to tell you the truth, its not that horrible, and god and jesus as well knows there are worse jobs in this world (hell, im applying to all kinds of worse jobs right now) ... plus id be in japan, and i think, perhaps, i belong more in japan than in america. although this whole idea of belonging is of course an amorphous, intricate, and therefore, diffcult bit of dilineation. its one of those animals that you put in the cross hairs of your aelophant rifle and pull the trigger only to see it sprinting off like a gazelle. perhaps, one should be using an aelophante rifle?
ah, but this digression will be the end of me.
the point is, why did i come back to america? at the time, it just seemed like the thing to do. my fellowship was over. but, i could have stayed. many have, i could have. i didnt want to wear out my welcome, but, these werent half-smiling, insincere hosts i was with, but rather true friends whose idea of welcome extends beyond and such. there was an apartment next to a UNESCO heritage shrine for 180 bucks a month, a small tatami mat in an old beat up house, hidden within snarling kyoto side streets where the only sound you heard was the wind blowing through the cherry trees. today i look at myself in the mirror and in light of whats happened and not happened in the last few months can only tihnk of myself has an increadible fool to have so haphazardly left the only paradise i knew. |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 11th, 2005|12:57 pm] |
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all weepy from mcguyver again |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 9th, 2005|04:16 pm] |
We sit in the grass and we talk of our pasts,
a rollcall of all our lovers.
A feeling arises we both recognize.
We could fulfill each other.
What if we do?
We each have travelled and come to a rest.
We’re trying to make things happen.
Neither of us know how to measure success.
Hey, we could fall in love and be happy.
What if we do?
All the butterflies rise to the surface.
I say stupid things when I get nervous.
Watch the sunset, forget all the chatter
All the butterflies say it don’t matter.
It’s getting late. We had better head back.
We could stop and get some dinner.
There’s a full moon rising, the stars are aligned.
We could spend the night together.
What if we do? |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 9th, 2005|01:17 pm] |
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mcguyver almost made me cry today |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 4th, 2005|05:34 pm] |
condoleca rice is a fucking robot, and ROBOTSU GA DAIKIRAI
this guy next to her is thinking, "ROBOTSU GA DAIKIRAI!"
running red over white,
running red over white,
red over white...red over white...red over white... AAAUUHHHHHGHGGHHHHHH!!!!!!
im so happy i live in such a rich township,
i went to this center where they have free shrinks ... the security guard there was really a nice fellow. william, fat and portly, and in the mood for chatter. im going to have fun going there. the nice lady there even filled out all my paperwork for me. i think i might even be eligable for expedited food stamps. food stamps in 5 days they say. wtf, i want food stamps t'mmoroah, am i s'pposta starve till wednesday?
hey, we could fall in love and be happy!
what if we do?
im going to see my girl tommorow, oh sweet joy.
the welfare state in canada has just got be better. perhaps not. apparently, this is all county money, and this county is just full of rich jews. gotta love jews. |
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| teee |
[Feb. 3rd, 2005|03:19 pm] |
dear mr. henshaw
today i went to talk to a shrink. i havent talked to one since i was very young. she was a friend of my mom's boss&she had some good opinions. hmm! tommorow i will talk to another shrink, and my parents will pay kind of ridiculous amounts for him. well, i told them i didnt want to go. but if it makes them feel better.
my dreams are all vivid these days. last night i was kissing a girls lips. we were so in love. a kiss can be the sweetest, most exquisite joy.
i am going to think hard about how i will spend what little time is left on this earth for us all.
mr. henshaw, this fart i just farted is making me gag. i think i might restrict meat/animal products. they just stopped tasting very good. im kind of tired of fish even now. i sort of want to eat beef, which i havent in a long long time. but, eating beef in america is either expensive or risky. sigh. see what i mean? not much time left on this earth.
these days i am eating split green peas. I found out about them from from the vegan bodybuilding, mike malher, who drinks pea protein shakes instead of eating chicken breast, canned tuna, cottage cheese, and whey hydroisolate shakes like other budybulders. I wish Mishima wrote a book on bodybuilding. just imagine it! it would be so good. just think how good it would be. think about it.
anyway, pea contains a contain protein all by itself. you dont need to mix that shit with grains, or nuts, n shit. its like soy, cept soy makes you demented like JAPS! NIPS! Superman says, "Slap a Jap for the war!" |
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| th' year of the... |
[Feb. 1st, 2005|09:43 am] |
happy new years thou hairy, stubby cockle'burrs |
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| heaven or las vagas |
[Jan. 31st, 2005|09:37 am] |
man, i love this album ... havent listened to it in a while. sigh. AND SHOULD I BE HUGGED N TUGGED DOWN THIS TIGRE'S MASQUE?!!! seriously, should i? i wonder if its a psychological disorder to feel so nostalgic all the time
through these bird lips. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 30th, 2005|11:44 am] |
dearie mr. henshaw,
today i am reminded by a day last year, early spring, late winter ... it was sunny and slightly chilly ;; not yet warm, no longer cold. it was a day when i woke up, as with many mornings back then, with a heady feeling of unbounded optimism and confidence. i walked around the small streets that meander through kyoto and came upon an old couple outside their old wooden house. they had come out from a winter of being indoors to take advantage of spring. the husband was trying to teach his wife to skip wrope. they wore layers of warm looking clothing. I was in a t-shirt and jeans.
"konnichi wa" i said, beaming as much as if not more than the early sun was.
"konnichi wa" they replied, smiling "genki da na! samukunai?"
"iya, daijyoubu" i said.
there are times when you see perfection. ive seen it many times, in fact. i think its just a matter of perception. |
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| i regret everything |
[Jan. 26th, 2005|06:03 pm] |
making all the girls say, "datte, datte! ... anta no koto ga suki!" |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 26th, 2005|05:52 pm] |
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its so nice listening to love songs and knowing that you have it all |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 21st, 2005|12:27 pm] |
cuba gooding jr: oh mcguyver! boy am i glad to see you here! what are you doing here?
RDA: NO BILLY! I'LL ASK THE QUESTIONS HERE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? |
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